one of my many flaws is that i let fear limit my options. vastly limit my options.
for example. after talking over drinks with my boss and him telling me how over-saturated nonprofits are post-katrina. and after sending out my resume to an alum from my grad program and her telling me about how LA severely cut funding for the arts, education, and the humanities. like, in the first draft of the state budget, the louisiana endowment for the arts lost all of its state funding.
and today i realized that i had subconsciously ruled out NOLA as a post-grad option. or rather, started to look elsewhere.
which, you know, it's always good to have a fallback plan. staying in school with the economy so shitty now might be a good thing. and emory has a kick ass american studies phd program
that i want to apply to eventually, regardless. but. the point is that i give up to easily. like, i really want to live in that fucking city for a time. and while i love home, while i love atlanta, im not ready to come back yet. i want something else. something new.
(like this. this is something/the kinda shit i would love to get involved in: The Neighborhood Story Project
and oh shit! the development coordinator went to my undergrad! hmm............contact maybe? hmm.......)
i dont fight hard enough for things sometimes.
partially because i am afriad that if i try i will fail. partially because i dont feel i am qualified for anything, really. partially because i am used to things coming to me relatively easily. not to say that im not a hard worker.
but i think i need to put myself on the line a bit more often. go out on a limb since that's where alla the fruit is.